Whats jokes
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Memes
Oop- get called out
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?
They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!
Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
What does a house wear? Address.
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.