Whats jokes
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister.
Daughter: But I don't have a sister.
Dad: Exactly.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
What do bees brush their hair with?
A honeycomb.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."