Whats jokes
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister.
Daughter: But I don't have a sister.
Dad: Exactly.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
What do bees brush their hair with?
A honeycomb.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite piano note? A minor.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]