Whats

Whats jokes

Jesus

What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Interaction

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”

Memes

Sister

So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

Morbid humor

1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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  • Truck

    What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

    You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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  • Michael Jackson

    What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

    They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

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  • Penis

    What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

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  • Priest

    What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?

    They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.

    Wheelchair

    What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."

    Depression

    Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

    Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

    AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

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  • Entrepreneur

    Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

    Me: Oh, I wan-

    Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

    Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.