Whats jokes
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What is the difference between a tree?
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?
RHYME-STEIN.
What's Damo's favorite food?
Big slongs.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.