Whats jokes
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Memes
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister.
Daughter: But I don't have a sister.
Dad: Exactly.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What do bees brush their hair with?
A honeycomb.
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite piano note? A minor.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?
They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.