Whats jokes

What is a pedophile's favorite age range?

9-11.

What was Jesus's favorite sport?

Lacrosse.

What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.

When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

What’s the best part about stage four cancer?

There’s no stage five.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?

"Baby, now we got bad blood."

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Sum Ting Wong.

Roses are red,

I don't know what is brass.

I tell myself,

"Don't touch grass."

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

What's a cannibal's favourite drink?

A Bloody Mary.