Whats jokes
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
Spider-Man: No Way Home
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"