What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Whats Jokes
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
What is an emo's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
