Whats jokes
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
Memes
9+10=21
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"