Whats jokes
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
Memes
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What is green?
Grass, you tard!
What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?
RHYME-STEIN.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.