What snack do aliens like?
Mars Bars.
Whats Jokes
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster.
What did I do with the internet?
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
What goes up stairs but doesn't move? Stairs! Laugh now!
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
