Whats jokes
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I'mma cashew outside!
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.