Whats jokes
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
What's sticky and brown? A stick!
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
What sport are Mexicans the best at?
Cross country.
What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?
Juan on Juan.
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.