Whats Jokes

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.

What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation to the orphanage :)

What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?

What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?

I AM keeping Trak!

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."

What color is Sonic's ball?

Blue because he keeps getting rejected.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.

What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

What do Batman and orphans have in common?

Their parents died.

Q: What do you call a gang of emos?

A: Suicide Squad.

Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?

A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

The teacher fainted.

What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?

Alien vs. Predator.

Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?

Diabetes.

what game does an emo love?

Hangman.

What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?

Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."