Whats jokes
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
Because they don't know what a full house is :(
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
What’s big and black on the road?
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.