Whats jokes
What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?
Two large planes.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?
Sensei: What is that?
Me: Saw con deez nu...
Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?
Me: What’s ligm...
Sensei: 😈
Me: no no no no
Sensei: Ligma ba...
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?
"Jenga!"
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."