Whats jokes
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
What can orphans not get when playing a sport?
A home run!
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?
Asif
What came before the dinosaurs?
Your hairline, because it's so far back!
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
What is red and puts out fire?
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽