Whats jokes
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!