What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
Whats Jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What do you call an Asian? A-chan.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!