Whats jokes
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.