Two mates walk into a bar Mate 1 : Shit! look at that spider over there Mate 2 : Whateverrrrrrr Mate 1 : No, seriously it's bloody massive Mate 2 : (Turns around) Shit thats huge, I thought you were Joking Mate 1 : No I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)
What’s the only time you can do almost whatever you want
When you have a gun in you hand
friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! i'll be in court.
My friend: "Yo, stupid." Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?" My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever." Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
Q: what’s stronger than family?
A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also In a way kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wished you could F but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't...............
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
whatever happened to the emo (wrong answer only)
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie? “Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the world trade center.”
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
1 like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do but one rule it can be only 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult she had kids. When they were old enough she told them you could be whatever you want...
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said "Honey, I flat chested. The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex. The next day, the wife said "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."...
What do you call a deaf person? Whatever you want!
(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip”.
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats the other one says “ your such a Cheetah!” Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
let it go, LET IT GO! Blablablabla whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blablablabla my mom never bothered me anyway
I'm bored 😴 so thats why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted ur time
