Whatever

Whatever Jokes

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

5

My friend: "Yo, stupid."

Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

4

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

6

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."

0

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!

Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!

Kenya stop smiling and start dying!

Tenya, why are you so mean!

Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!

Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!

Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.

It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"