Whale

Whale jokes

Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?

Random guy: Why?

Me: Because you look like a whale.

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.

They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."

  • 1
  • What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

    One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!

    What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.

    How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.

    Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

    Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

    Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

    Teacher: He did not.

    Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

    Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

    Suzy: Then you can ask him.

    What did one male whale say to the other male whale?

    "She's gonna blow!"

    yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

  • 3
  • Two whales went to a bar.

    The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."