New Welcome Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

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SHOUT OUT TO ENTITY...WELCOME TO HELL everytime I see your icon I vomit lol get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help...

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!

Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!

My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

Miss Kadie- I heard that the Westburow Baptist church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people. Pastor- welcome to the gay matters church. Miss Kadie- stop that you know that god hates gay people Me- stop that vegan teacher. Pastor- you deserve to die - I attack

Me - What do you want to do for your birthday? Fiancé - I want to go somewhere I've never been before! Me - Well welcome to the Kitchen!!

welcome to joe's pizza you make e'e we bake e'm

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.

"Welcome to the gulag."

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.

A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."

I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade, that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake)

A Chinese man moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a home on a small piece of land.

The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.

He goes next door, but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.

Not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.

Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbor leading a bull down the driveway and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."

The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."

"What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."

"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bull-shit!"

I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text

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