Welcome jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
Welcome to Mississippi.
Hahaha, you have no PP!
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"
Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."
Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"
So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."
Welcome to our Computer Show.
I'm Mars Argo.
Welcome to youtube.com.
Welcome to youtube.com.
Where we treat our patients nicely.
Hi.
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”