What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Your mom is fat.
Oooo, roasted!
Why's missy Shaw such a slug? Because she's obese. Hahahahahaha!
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
