Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...

SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!

I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.

Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.

Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."

Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.

Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A: A pool table.

They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.