Weight jokes

I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.

Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.

Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.

Yo mama fat as fuck.

Yo momma so fat, her ankle broke and gravy poured out.

Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?

Canned hunting.

My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.

Yo mama so fat that she broke the chair by sitting on it.

You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.

Yo mama so fat, everytime she has to use the world's largest knife.

Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.