Weighing jokes
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Which part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales!
Oh my gods they’re watching us oh my god
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
Q: What kind of building weighs the least?
A: A lighthouse!
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.