Watermelon jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.

I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.

Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?

Tax credit.

Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Black comedy name week:

Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.