Watermelon

Watermelon Jokes

Food

What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...

Stereotype

What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?

Reality.

Hippie

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

Fruit

Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Ball

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

Credit

Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?

Tax credit.

Scarecrow

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

Melon

Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.

Orphan

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Hooker

What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?

The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.

Dad

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰

Cantaloupe

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

Baby

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.