My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of. You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
Orphan
america saying they are more stupid Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war
When your in the war and you die and say to got where is the gulag
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
People are fighting in a war and a man gets hit 4 times in the arm and says "Tis a Scratch" And the other guy looking at him in shock says "A Scratch, Your Arm is off you body"
You can get into to a fight with a orphan what they are going to there parents
Why did hitler die? he got hit by ler
A American goes on a British bus after being in war he wants to sit down so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down but there is a old woman on the seat with her dog in the next the man says will you move your dog the lady says oh you Americans always so demanding and she says to sit some where else he goes through and finds no seats so now he at the back again this time he throws the dog out the window and sits down the man in front says you Americans always do things wrong first yoy drive on the wrong side of the road then hold you knife and fork wrong and you threw the wrong bitch out the window
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-a-war?
A: pulled pork
Why did hitler lose the war ?
Because göring ate every last airplanes , tanks , artilleries , ships and ammunitions
I’m telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution
What the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
why did England beat Germany in world war two scissors beats paper
*World war 2 going on and then stops* Me: I guess you vould say it was a gory-ious battle.
Star Wars jokes: Qui gon Chinn, mace chindo, chinbakka, darth chinious, anachin skywalker
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot”
