Want jokes

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:

God: No, I don’t want to.

I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

Why did the pencil want to kill himself?

He had no point in life.

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?

Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.

Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

I forgot the joke I wanted to say.

Chat, is this real?

Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the studio?

Because they wanted to drop some hoops.

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.

Why did the rapper become a fisherman?

Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.

Why did the rapper become a tailor?

Because they wanted to drop some fresh THREADS.

Why did the rapper open a bakery?

Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."