Want jokes
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!
Hehehehehe.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like? Go look in the mirror.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana? They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."