Wanna jokes

Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.

Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!

What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

Me: "You wanna see my dad?"

Some kid: "Yeah?"

Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."

Some kid: "He ain't appearing."

Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."

*The kid laughs*

Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?

There are 20 8 year olds.

Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?

Friend: But you're an orphan.

Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

W2S, you stinky, stanky fad. Seeing your disstracks really makes me wanna fap.

I wanna fight Gwen!

Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?

Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?

Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?

There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"

I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.

"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"

I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.