i just wanted to say to never let go of family they are everything never let anyone walk all over you and if you are with me like this quote
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
2 men walk into a bar no clue how they didn't see it
I was walking with my black best friend and he was meeting my parents and after I got there they said who’s this? I said well I own him
btw friend here also wants to do suicide
friend:why did i cross the road??? me:to get to the other side. friend:true!
friend:hey lets go hang out at the forest today! me:ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* friend:hey atleast we did it!
friend:whats the best thing about me? me:you will eventually end. friend:hmmmmmm . . . true!
friend:what historical time influenced you the most? me:the great depression
if i could be an object id be glass because im see through and i can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!
my parents sometimes say im their sunshine! . . . because im painful if you look at me.
teacher:what does km/s mean? me+like almost all of the class:*in unison* it means kill myself but misspelled
friend:whats the best way to end a game? me:with death friend: . . . hmmm now that you think about it yeah! thats the best way!
when your about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you cant litter there
google says that your about 75% water but im make of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress
brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more
how do you keep weeds away? just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. problem solved.
when you take antidepressants but they dont work it will just make you more depressed and thats a fact
a bored depressed suicidal person:*sees a dying person* dying person:p-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* bored depressed suicidal person:hmmmm ur an ambulance dying person:*manages to get back up* bored depressed suicidal person:oooooohh goddddd dying person:*in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~
roses are red inside im dead i have crippling depression some one pls shoot my head
when you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they dont you:*panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*
the only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself
a made up story starting now so i went to school as usual theres a school shooting all the depressed suicidal people:*crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME a made up story starting ending
in this one the friend isnt suicidal friend:wanna play a game? me:life wait no a game has a meaning friend: . . . *crickets* friend:calls suicide hotline me:wait no!!!!!
me:*has crippling depression* *asks mom why i was born* mom:hmmm i think i was drunk and on a lotta drugs me:hmmm tysm *gets the rope* mom:*making hanging puns* me:*hurries to the trash truck*
me:at this point ive lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that i dont struggle with it now, im good at it and its all normal
hope you enjoyed
A man walks Into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces: "Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!" Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!" Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though." Nuns: "Ugh! No thank you then..."
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card and we live far and we my mom was hungry. A guy and his friend had a car and k us if we were lost. We said no we have no ride, no money and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each so I was driving the car and my mom gave the both guys a blowjob. We had to get out the car to look for something then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I ask what the bad news that they're not taking us home so I ask what the good news they told me that they feed my mom and drove off. I guess where we i guess the left us wsnt long walk and my mom wasm't hungry no more.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realised I was in a rape museum
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say, when little boys walk away? Give into me-hee-he.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long romantic walks to the refrigerator.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-o"
This morning I was having a conversation with my ex boyfriend about reincarnation I said to him if you could come back in the next life as anything what would you come back as and he thought about it for a minute and says a tree that way everybody can look at me and admire me. Then he says the same thing to me I started thinking about it when these two sexy half naked studs walked by one was a jock the other on his bicycle I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat but knowing my luck I'll come back as a tampon
mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)
a sister told her brother to walk to the store buy some candy watch movie with her while eating the candy (but he couldn't walk because he has no legs he couldn't buy candy because he has no arms he couldn't watch a movie because he was blind and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach who said he was real?)
I ran over some Crippled kids i told to walk it off
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked
Why did the duck walk across the road I lost my pecker
