What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby?
One makes you cry when you cut it up.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
