Violence jokes
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
I pushed the disabled kid into a fire, then called him "Hot Wheels."
I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.