Vending

Vending jokes

Snack

    • Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

    Girl: Your card got declined.

    Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

    Vending memes

    Door

    • Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.

    When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."

    When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."

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    • Man

    • There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?

    The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!

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    • Gay male

    • If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.

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    • Vending memes