Vegans jokes
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
Save the plants, eat a vegan.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.