Vegan Jokes

Vegan Teacher the musical.

Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?

Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.

Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.

Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!

Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!

Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!

Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!

What do you call a vegan slut?

A garden ho!

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

What do you call a vegan cow?

A vegan cow. :/

OR

A regular cow. 🐄🙌

Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?

The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"

What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?

- A VEGUN.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you.