USA jokes
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
Memes
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!
President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. 😎😎😎😎😎😎
Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.
I'm in school shooting. #USA
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
What did the O say to the other O?
O hi O (Ohio).
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.