US jokes
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
"Among Us" in space spells "sugoma."
Memes
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
Your mom uses the equator as a belt.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
"Among Us" is basically a game about betrayal.
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.