US jokes
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
Memes
How do rappers stay cool?
They use RAP-SICLES.
If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
The last two presidents of the US.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
They both used to be straight.
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
Anybody can use this :)
Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!