Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
US Jokes
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
