US jokes

The Earth used to be flat until they buried yo mama.

What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?

Slaves.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!

I used to hate facial hair,

but then it grew on me.

How do you know someone is fucking dumb?

They put jokes that have been used several times already.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

Why do vegans use blowjobs?

Because they can’t take real meat.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.

"Among Us, Among Us, Among Us, Among Us, Among Us."

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!

There is only one reason why I find women useful.

That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.

Why can orphans only use Samsung?

Because they don't have a home button.