US jokes
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because the home button does not work.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Bunger got me like:
😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Memes
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!