US jokes
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Memes
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!