US jokes
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Memes
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.