US jokes
Look at the bright side!
The worst is behind us.
"AMONG US" AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US AMONG US
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
US Marine: Knock knock!
Al Qaeda fighter: Who's there?
US Marine: (Kicks down door, throws grenade, opens fire) FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
We already colonized UK and Canada, TIME FOR US TO BECOMING RULER OF EARTH, JOIN BROWN SIDE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!
"Among Us" is basically a game about betrayal.
"Among Us" tea water.
"Say, Tenya, I heard you say that you hate Gwen. Will [you] join us!"
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Clarissa is here with us.
Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!
Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.
Three drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.