Ur jokes

Ur mom.

Oh wait, you don't have one.

Stranger: Knock knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Stranger: Not your parents.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mail man.

Mailman who?

Bitch, do you want your mail?

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.

Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol

Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!

Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

What did the cow say to your mom?

Hello.

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

If you play games, go play on your sister.

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

Guy: Robin

Bank owner: Your last name?

Guy: Debank

Bank owner: Robin Debank?

Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

I like your mom naked.

Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!

Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!