Ur Jokes

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"

I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

She said, "Why?"

I said, "'Cause it's your twin."

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?

"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."

Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?

You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.

Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.