A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni but instead they got... Plane.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What's the Twin Towers' favorite Minecraft biome?
A plains biome.
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
Genders are like the Twin Towers.
There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
