Twins jokes
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni but instead they got... Plane.
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
What's the Twin Towers' favorite Minecraft biome?
A plains biome.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.