Twins jokes

Way

The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

Monk

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

Twin Towers

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

Twin

What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourself!

Man

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

Sibling

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Twin

Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?

Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.

Twin: Not funny, dude.

Plane

What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?

Nothing, planes can't talk.

Pizza

What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?

Nothing, it was just plane.

Twin Towers

Why were the Twin Towers angry on 9/11?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got instead was plane.

Brother

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

Gender

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

They both used to be straight.

Wife

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

Hand

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

Tower

Famous last words.

Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”