Twins jokes
A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pizzas and they only got plain: one came late, and then went to the wrong location.
Obama has dih.
But the Twin Towers just had a hard landing.
What did the mom say to the twins?
"Go crash a plane!"
What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?
Nothing, it was just plane.
Why were the Twin Towers angry on 9/11?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got instead was plane.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?
Because he's a quadriplegic.
What's the Twin Towers' most favorite band? Al Qaedirection.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
Why were the Twin Towers mad during 9/11?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead got plane.
Are you the Twin Towers?
Because I want to smash you.
Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?
The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.