Newest TV Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie... And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!". I immediately stopped watching changed the channel

what TV shows orphans dont like? family guy

yo mama so clueless she sat on the tv to watch the couch

What is a shark’s favorite tv show? Sea-S-I

blonde walks in i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. comes back the next day with brown hair. i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. comes back the next day with brown hair. i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. thats it howd you know i was a blonde seller: because thats a microwave

Yo mama so ugly that when she turned on the tv it changed channels by it self

Your head so big you can wash a big tv on it

I watched the series of unfortanet events 4 times all the shows 4 times, : me -crying - I am trying to finish the rest then my brother comes in and says it is PG, ( parent guidens) after that.... My brother called me a bAby then he pushed me off my bed.😭

What is an orphans least favorite tv show Full house

My whife caught me one day for watching a porn channel so i quickly turned the tv to a fishing channel. On her way out she said: 'You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!'

Why did billy kill himself with a tv remote? He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

My young son saw trump on TV he asked "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied "Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don't want it to rust"

Mom: I saw John Cena at wwe

Son: no way you can't see him though

Mom: god

Son: what

Mom: you watch too much reality TV comes to smack butt

Son: also because I’m John Cena

Mom: whe where’d ya go

John Cena: hey mom

Mom: I’m only 31 your 42

there was man, who had just moved from a foreign country. he just moved into his apartment, and was watching his favorite TV shows. the first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all i use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him "sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. the man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." the cop said, "sir, what did you use." and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all i use is forks and knives." after that, the cop said, "sir, im going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" the screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"

So I was watching tv right? then i f..ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs "wtf"

Hi guys. I am so happy and proud of myself and i thought i should share with you!! Today i saw myself on TV when i turned it off.

I was watching a tv show where a guy was hanging off a cliff then the series ended...guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliff hanger

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks "what is that man doing?". The mom says "Making pizza" trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says "Making extra cheese". When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says "Ordering the pizza".

Later that day the mother says to the father "I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good".

So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs "wanna order some pizza !?"

The mother replied "DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME"

the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"