Try jokes

Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?

A. He was trying to phone home.

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem.

Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.