So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
Ian.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
a kid is trick - or - treating. he knocks on a door. then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"!!!🌭😺😸😹😆😅😂🤣😄
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
