Trick jokes
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
Memes
Should I tell him about the suspicious black guy under him?
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
Ian.
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"