How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
Eminem-o the Great.
When is a door not a door?
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
